My Principles
The guiding principles I use to make decisions that serve me
1. Live in integrity
What it is:
- Doing what I say I will do, even when I feel resistance
- Accepting and saying things that are true for me, even if it might cause conflict and pain
- Leaning into conflict when necessary, standing up for myself
What it isn’t:
- Imposing my way on others or ‘do-gooding
- Believing that my way is the only way or the correct way
- Creating conflict carelessly when there are more skilful routes available
2. Do hard things and enjoy the difficulty
What it is
- Enjoying the challenge and difficulty of working hard and taking on projects above my skill level in service of contribution and growth
- Throwing myself fully into my life and taking all the opportunities it gives to me
- Cultivating delight in the process, the journey and placing less emphasis on the destination itself
What it isn’t:
- Refusing to quit the wrong path when I realise I’ve gone the wrong way, made a mistake or the thing might cause harm
- Doing things just because they are hard, pursuing a path that isn’t actually important to me
- Damaging myself (again) by not listening to my inner guidance
3. Aliveness is my north star
What it is:
- Embracing intensity, recognising that even ‘unpleasant’ emotions are an expression of aliveness. Read more.
- Trusting the wisdom of my body to guide me in the right direction
- Taking risks, allowing myself to own my wants and pursue big dream; being willing to burn things down when they aren’t serving me
What it isn’t:
- Settling for the saccharin taste of fake aliveness from substances, addictions and short-term pleasure at the cost of the long term
- Causing others pain carelessly by becoming too self-focused
- Sacrificing other principles for the sake of aliveness - the ‘how’ is more important than the ‘what’
4. Connection is life
What it is:
- Prioritising deep connection with people who matter to me and who bring aliveness to my life
- Never abandoning myself
- Saying the scary thing to invite deeper connection
What it isn’t:
- Seeking the rush of new connections to the exclusion of existing ones that matter deeply to me
- Losing discernment about who I choose to connect with or how
- Getting lost in the high of connection to the exclusion of my other goals and principles
5. Healthy, vital bodymind: energy is the currency of life
What it is:
- Making healthy choices as an expression of self-love
- Acting in service of my future self, my family and friends
- Staying fully conscious so that I ‘use myself’ well
What it isn’t:
- Being so overly strict and restrictive that I miss out on connection and aliveness
- Pushing myself so hard that I injure myself or create other counterproductive outcomes
- Judging myself when I inevitably fail to make perfectly healthy choices