Michael Ashcroft

I'm having knee surgery on Friday

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 00:00:00 CET

This Friday (3 October 2025) I’ll be having surgery on my right knee to correct an unstable kneecap that has troubled me since I was 11. It turns out that my kneecaps are still about 20mm too high, even after bringing them down when I was a teenager. My legs aren’t straight, giving me knock knees, my tibias are rotated, so my feet point outwards, and I have a bunch of ligament damage from multiple dislocations.

The surgery to fix this is complex, and I’m grateful to be having it. I’m going to be recovering for about two months, probably doing very little work for the first three weeks. But, perhaps, maybe plenty of time for reading and writing as I’ll be stuck on the sofa for most of the time.

For posterity, here’s how the surgeon describes the procedure.

The main procedure will be a high tibial osteotomy to straighten your right leg. During the same operation, we will rotate your foot to correct the external tibial torsion and perform a distalisation of your tibial tubercle. This combined approach will address three issues through a single osteotomy, which we will stabilise using a plate and screws.

Additionally, we will perform arthroscopic surgery to tidy up the joint, carry out soft tissue releases on the lateral aspect with a lengthening procedure, remove the loose bone fragment, and reef and tighten the medial structures. While we discussed the possibility of a medial patellofemoral ligament (MPFL) reconstruction, this will only be performed if necessary during the operation. We will have the equipment available should it be required, though typically the soft tissue procedures are sufficient.

After 25 years of crappy knees, I’m excited to be on a path where I might get good function and not having to worry about dislocations.

The opposite of aesthetic is anaesthetic

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 00:00:00 CET

Aesthetic refers to the perception of sensations arising from being in contact with the world. Anaesthetic is the absence of this sensory experience, which is the effect of the class of drugs we call anaesthetics.

So another way to describe this spectrum of presence is to say that one end is aesthetic (heightened sensory perception) and the other is anaesthetic (dulled or absent sensory perception).

It’s interesting that so many objects we value for their ‘aesthetics’ (e.g. phones) in fact act as functional anaesthetics by dulling our senses and so taking us further out of contact with the world.

1798, from German Ästhetisch (mid-18c.) or French esthétique (which is from German), ultimately from Greek aisthetikos “of or for perception by the senses, perceptive,” of things, “perceptible,” from aisthanesthai “to perceive (by the senses or by the mind), to feel,” from PIE *awis-dh-yo-, from root *au- “to perceive.” - etymonline.com

zettels: 3.2b2, 3.2b2a

Knowing that someone could understand you makes it possible to think deeply

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 00:00:00 CET

There’s something about knowing that it’s possible to be met in the depths of your thinking by another that gives permission to go to those depths in the first place.

It opens up the possibility that a response is possible, that someone can confirm that you’re not crazy, that you’re not writing into a void. That your thinking is useful to someone, somewhere.

He went on writing letters to Urras, even when he mailed none of them at all. The fact of writing for someone who might understand—who might have understood—made it possible for him to write, to think. Otherwise it was not possible. – Urusula Le Guin, The Dispossessed

zettel: 3.4c

Work With Me

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 CET

Alexander Technique

I am a certified teacher of the Alexander Technique. I have built a self-paced online course that introduces many of the fundamentals of Alexander Technique using an awareness-based teaching model. More than 1700 people have taken it and many of them have had strong results.

‍You can check it out here.‍

Advice & guidance

If you want my advice and guidance on something I can help you with, you can book me for one-off calls by the hour. These calls are intended more for problem-solving type discussions than for ongoing coaching.

Choose a price that fits your circumstances:

Coaching

I am a coach drawing on the Aletheia model of Integral Unfoldment. I’m currently taking a break from coaching to have and recover from surgery.

Reading

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 CET

Currently reading

Creative Thinking – J. G. Bennett (reread)
Transformation - J. G. Bennett
Freedom to Change – Frank Pierce Jones (reread)

December

Completed:

A System for Writing — Bob Doto (reread)
Case Study – Anatomy of a $10m online education business — Olly Richards
Your Music and People — Derek Sivers

September 2025

Completed:

Good Omens — Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman

June 2025

Completed

Moral Ambition — Rutger Bregman

Abandoned:

The Extinction of Experience — Christine Rosen

May 2025

Completed

Fluent Forever — Gabriel Wyner

March 2025

Had a baby, reading became difficult

Completed:

The Lathe of Heaven – Ursula Le Guin
Ina May’s Guide To Childbirth – Ina May Gaskin
Cry When The Baby Cries – Becky Barnicoat

Abandoned:

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother – Amy Chua
Second Act – Henry Oliver

February 2025

Completed:

The Tree of Yoga — B. K. S. Iyengar
The Left Hand of Darkness – Ursula Le Guin
Cherish the First 6 Weeks – Helen Moon
Wind, Sand and Stars – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Abandoned:

The Soul of Money — Lynne Twist

January 2025

Completed:

The Dispossessed — Ursula Le Guin
Orbital – Samantha Harvey

December 2024

Completed:

The Notebook — Roland Allen

Projects

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 CET

These aren’t all of my projects, but a subset of the longer term ones that I want to share that I’m working on, as well as curating notes and resources that I think may have wider value.

Alexander Technique book

I’ve decided to write a book for two reasons:

As a forcing function to help me cohere my thoughts in a more stuctured, narrative way, and to help my find the gaps in my own understanding.
As something I can point people towards when they ask “what is the Alexander Technique?”, beacuse I know my existing public writing is spread all over the place, disjointed and not adequately comprehensive.

more to come

Now

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 CET

2026-03-11 Wednesday

I just had my second knee surgery (left knee this time) and recovering at home. Fortunately it seems that the recovery is going to be easier this time, which is a huge relief, because I was exhausted for months last time.

My son is about to turn a year old, and I can’t quite believe that it’s been so long already. He remains delightful.

Before the surgery, I was able to record nearly 30 lessons for a complete rebuild of my online course. All I have to do now is to write all the accompanying lesson text, and then I can release it to all the existing students. This feels wonderful.

2025-09-30

London

My son is a little over six months old and things are going splendidly. He’s healthy and seems happy, and I am grateful. We just moved him into his room and I already feel like he’s growing up astonishingly fast.

I’m having surgery on my right knee on Friday 3 October, which is the first of three major surgeries I’ll be having in the next nine months or so, but hopefully when they’re done, my body will work a lot better and I can focus on long term health and strength.

I’m working on an upgrade to my Alexander Technique online course which, although it keeps getting delayed by life circumstances like baby and health, I am excited to build and share.

2025-03-07

London

Early days of fatherhood

At the time of writing (7th March), my son isn’t here yet, but he will be soon, I’m winding down and preparing for whatever comes.

Learning to be a better coach

I’m about to start level 3 of Aletheia’s Advanced Coaching Program. I’m reading a lot of materials relating to this, and thinking about how I will be able to launch a more sincere coaching practice when I have appropriate spaciousness for it.

Writing

Writing seems to come in seasons for me, and I’m feeling the transition to a more fertile one coming. I’m gently working on an essay collection, because I want to organise my ideas into a coherent narrative and fill in the connective tissue that until now has been merely implied.

Healing my right hip

I have an impinged right hip, which causes pain and gets in the way of a lot of daily activities (like sitting down). I’m doing a lot of targeted corrective exercise and mobility work to try to resolve this.

My Principles

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 CET

1. Live in integrity

What it is:

Doing what I say I will do, even when I feel resistance
Accepting and saying things that are true for me, even if it might cause conflict and pain
Leaning into conflict when necessary, standing up for myself

What it isn’t:

Imposing my way on others or ‘do-gooding
Believing that my way is the only way or the correct way
Creating conflict carelessly when there are more skilful routes available

2. Do hard things and enjoy the difficulty

What it is

Enjoying the challenge and difficulty of working hard and taking on projects above my skill level in service of contribution and growth
Throwing myself fully into my life and taking all the opportunities it gives to me
Cultivating delight in the process, the journey and placing less emphasis on the destination itself

What it isn’t:

Refusing to quit the wrong path when I realise I’ve gone the wrong way, made a mistake or the thing might cause harm
Doing things just because they are hard, pursuing a path that isn’t actually important to me
Damaging myself (again) by not listening to my inner guidance

3. Aliveness is my north star

What it is:

Embracing intensity, recognising that even ‘unpleasant’ emotions are an expression of aliveness. Read more.
Trusting the wisdom of my body to guide me in the right direction
Taking risks, allowing myself to own my wants and pursue big dream; being willing to burn things down when they aren’t serving me

What it isn’t:

Settling for the saccharin taste of fake aliveness from substances, addictions and short-term pleasure at the cost of the long term
Causing others pain carelessly by becoming too self-focused
Sacrificing other principles for the sake of aliveness - the ‘how’ is more important than the ‘what’

4. Connection is life

What it is:

Prioritising deep connection with people who matter to me and who bring aliveness to my life
Never abandoning myself
Saying the scary thing to invite deeper connection

What it isn’t:

Seeking the rush of new connections to the exclusion of existing ones that matter deeply to me
Losing discernment about who I choose to connect with or how
Getting lost in the high of connection to the exclusion of my other goals and principles

5. Healthy, vital bodymind: energy is the currency of life

What it is:

Making healthy choices as an expression of self-love
Acting in service of my future self, my family and friends
Staying fully conscious so that I ‘use myself’ well

What it isn’t:

Being so overly strict and restrictive that I miss out on connection and aliveness
Pushing myself so hard that I injure myself or create other counterproductive outcomes
Judging myself when I inevitably fail to make perfectly healthy choices

Links

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 CET

The full list of places Where you can find me across the internet.

Twitter

Bluesky

Elsewhere

Colophon

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 CET

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Hosted on Github.
Published with Netlify (free tier).
Designed and built by Joodaloop

Coaching

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 CET